Tips for expecting fathers on how to respond when your girlfriend is pregnant
Take a deep breath. If you’re wondering how to respond when your girlfriend is pregnant, start by listening and asking what support she needs. You don’t need to have all the answers in your first conversation. Whether you’re thinking about parenting or learning how adoption works, our Florida counseling team at Legacy Adoption Services® can help you talk through your options and next steps.
How to respond when your girlfriend is pregnant?
Your primary goal should be to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you, so that you can come to an agreement together about how to best handle the situation. Here are some important things to keep in mind through the conversations ahead.
- Keep your cool. Staying calm allows for better communication and helps your girlfriend feel safe in sharing her feelings with you.
- Avoid the blame game. The situation you are in is what it is, and how you got there is less important than how you’ll deal with it together. Placing blame on her will only shut down the conversation, when you need to be focused on problem-solving together.
- Be a good listener. Let your girlfriend talk about whatever she needs to get off her chest. Don’t interrupt her or talk about your own feelings and perceptions until she is ready to hear you.
- Ask questions. Asking her how she feels about specific things shows her that you care about her, educates you about where she is coming from, and demonstrates you are interested in her thoughts and opinions.
- Be honest. When it’s your turn to speak, it’s OK to be fully open about your feelings. Be strong in your support for her, while letting her in to how you’re feeling inside. Showing your uncertainty and vulnerability opens the door for an honest and respectful discussion as you explore your next steps together.
- Research your options together. Before you jump to any decisions, be sure that you have all the facts about the options in front of you. Understanding the realities of parenting, as well as how adoption works, empowers you to make an informed choice.
- Don’t pressure her to choose one option over another. It’s OK to share your thoughts about parenting or adoption, but listen to hers, too. Give each other room to ask questions and talk things through. If you disagree, an options counselor can help you discuss your concerns without pressuring either of you.
- Reassure her – and follow through. Let her know you want to be there for her, then back that up with actions. Stay in touch, ask what she needs, and follow through on the help you offer. Being dependable, especially when she isn’t feeling well, can make a real difference.
Get the facts about parenting and how adoption works
Moving forward together may not be easy, but it helps to arm yourself with all the information you can so that you can make informed decisions. Learning how adoption works is an important part of the process of deciding your next steps. Our Florida counselors are here to answer all of your questions and get you and your girlfriend the support you need. Contact us at (239) 703-8600 for a pressure-free consultation with a Legacy Adoption Services options counselor in Florida.
